








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6595 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3735 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 3982 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,603 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tatem | 49% | 188 |
| #2 | -=Icy=- | 45% | 80 |
| #3 | ❤ | 35% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tatem | 49% | 188 |
| #2 | -=Icy=- | 45% | 80 |
| #3 | ❤ | 35% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tatem | 19 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ❤ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | -=Icy=- | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tatem | 651 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | -=Icy=- | 227 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | ❤ | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tatem | +3.54 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | 2i | +1.55 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | ❤ | -2.01 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | -=Icy=- | -5.49 | 3 | 67 |





