








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1664 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1581 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1993 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2002 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,407 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRAS | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Earth-Man | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Steveio | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Gentleman Fish | 45% | 87 |
| #5 | Morph | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Earth-Man | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Steveio | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Gentleman Fish | 45% | 87 |
| #5 | Morph | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Morph | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Earth-Man | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 427 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Steveio | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Morph | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | BRAS | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | +2.38 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Earth-Man | +1.31 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | BRAS | +1.22 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | ✨Anthrax✨ | -0.46 | 56 | 69 |
| #5 | Steveio | -1.16 | 73 | 56 |





