








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8304 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6341 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5146 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4672 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,583 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retraC | 51% | 61 |
| #2 | Burt Macklin | 44% | 66 |
| #3 | Hangry Pepe | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | KillJoy | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | c0pe | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0pe | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Hangry Pepe | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | KillJoy | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Burt Macklin | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | retraC | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burt Macklin | 283 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | c0pe | 196 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hangry Pepe | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | KillJoy | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | retraC | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |





