








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1796 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2828 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2562 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2133 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,452 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domemon | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | ★starboy★ | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Hens1 | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | -=BM=-Maximus | 43% | 122 |
| #9 | AleXO | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | kikis_optik | 35% | 23 |
| #11 | gbink | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | $cHmiDDi | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | -=BM=-Maximus | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Lasselele | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | domemon | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=BM=-Maximus | 377 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Timmy | 263 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lasselele | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | 210 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hens1 | 129 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domemon | +4.37 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | Timmy | +1.53 | 54 | 61 |
| #3 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | +1.22 | 51 | 68 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | +0.64 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | ★starboy★ | -0.20 | 61 | 68 |





