








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3093 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3223 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2441 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2077 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,300 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | lenni | 47% | 89 |
| #8 | Pr0pH | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | thatjerknick | 47% | 169 |
| #10 | ImDustinTheWind | 44% | 139 |
| #11 | valulife | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thatjerknick | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | TapaN | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Amoren | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Zbag | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ImDustinTheWind | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TapaN | 1001 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | Amoren | 304 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | ImDustinTheWind | 252 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | thatjerknick | 211 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | lenni | 209 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TapaN | +2.02 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Lawlshark | +1.84 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | lenni | +0.30 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Amoren | +0.17 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | Pr0pH | -0.55 | 45 | 62 |





