








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1236 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1368 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 871 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $660,089 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninezeraa- | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | vtnn- | 62% | 126 |
| #3 | TACOCS | 61% | 122 |
| #4 | Yuki2k | 59% | 119 |
| #5 | ⚡ TwnN- | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninezeraa- | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | vtnn- | 62% | 126 |
| #3 | TACOCS | 61% | 122 |
| #4 | Yuki2k | 59% | 119 |
| #5 | ⚡ TwnN- | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACOCS | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | vtnn- | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vtnn- | 336 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yuki2k | 197 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | TACOCS | 110 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ⚡ TwnN- | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ninezeraa- | 52 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninezeraa- | +3.10 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Yuki2k | +1.10 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | vtnn- | +0.99 | 80 | 82 |
| #4 | vhs | -0.60 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | TACOCS | -1.22 | 52 | 67 |





