








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 955 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2787 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3518 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3637 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,516 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3RGZI3GE | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | heXXoR | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | burnz0 | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | wikket ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | XOR.DoT | 53% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | furiO_os | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Stone | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | XOR.DoT | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | burnz0 | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Showtiime | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone | 491 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | furiO_os | 348 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | ClitCommander | 280 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Showtiime | 218 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | XOR.DoT | 119 | 0.08 | 2 min |





