








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,879 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8071 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7133 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8506 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7275 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,725,196 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Midator Pressile | 51% | 221 |
| #7 | Kurakeisari | 51% | 148 |
| #8 | motiN | 47% | 137 |
| #9 | RCHRD | 45% | 49 |
| #10 | Allu | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touch | 998 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kurakeisari | 610 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | Midator Pressile | 448 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | ficti | 297 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | g1ku | 244 | 0.14 | 7 min |





