








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 569 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4914 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4646 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8188 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5789 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,972,771 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An0n!m | 50% | 167 |
| #2 | Grande Bamboccioni | 49% | 247 |
| #3 | BoB :d | 48% | 227 |
| #4 | Ta;pczan | 47% | 185 |
| #5 | starter | 46% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grande Bamboccioni | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | starter | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | An0n!m | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ta;pczan | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | BoB :d | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starter | +1.89 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | иєχ[т] | +0.60 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | fitsmalec | +0.57 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | BoB :d | +0.40 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | Grande Bamboccioni | +0.19 | 73 | 71 |





