








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1061 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,953 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEADSHOOTFURNIKATOR | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ZiNgUeTTE -- | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | cLeM- | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Belette | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | KALEZ -L- | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ZiNgUeTTE -- | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | cLeM- | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Belette | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | KALEZ -L- | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | diamantiK | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLeM- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ZiNgUeTTE -- | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLeM- | 190 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | ZiNgUeTTE -- | 74 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | diamantiK | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Belette | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | HEADSHOOTFURNIKATOR | 33 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLeM- | +2.20 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Medave | +1.47 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | KALEZ -L- | +1.15 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | HEADSHOOTFURNIKATOR | +0.26 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Belette | -1.12 | 82 | 57 |





