








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2186 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2252 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,575 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Patrik 12 tagg | 50% | 72 |
| #9 | LeBobb | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | Dilligaf | 41% | 32 |
| #11 | Pjuskii | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Hell | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Langemann95 | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Capsen | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Patrik 12 tagg | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Winterizr | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Dilligaf | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Langemann95 | 211 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Capsen | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Patrik 12 tagg | 103 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dilligaf | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Winterizr | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |





