








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 174 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4145 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5749 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4385 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5219 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,595 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | VALÙ | 53% | 106 |
| #4 | LICOOOOOO | 49% | 122 |
| #5 | hSL | 49% | 117 |
| #6 | extr4 | 49% | 111 |
| #7 | kaj+++++-+-- | 46% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VALÙ | 552 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | LICOOOOOO | 523 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | hSL | 485 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | mis2h | 300 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | kaj+++++-+-- | 269 | 0.15 | 8 min |





