








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6174 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4173 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3618 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,483 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randi | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | CLVN | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | OMAR M'A TUER ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | TrashBaby | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | strunK | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randi | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | CLVN | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | OMAR M'A TUER ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | TrashBaby | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | strunK | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrashBaby | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | strunK | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | CLVN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | OMAR M'A TUER ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Randi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrashBaby | 456 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | strunK | 346 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | OMAR M'A TUER ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | CLVN | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Randi | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strunK | +1.93 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | CLVN | +0.65 | 39 | 54 |
| #3 | Randi | +0.54 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | IstqR™ | +0.12 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | OMAR M'A TUER ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | -0.05 | 69 | 65 |





