








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 953 | 30% |
| Smokes | 797 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 725 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,886 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Th*mpsn | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | KalashnikovKarsten | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | Bananaman | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | DerDurchDieScheibeBoxxxer | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shore | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | K1lluah | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antalas | 205 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | keNtelele | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | CstarBizeps | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Synex | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shore | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyro.at | +8.50 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | dukemarco | +5.03 | 93 | 69 |
| #3 | Synex | +3.58 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Bananaman | +3.09 | 79 | 75 |
| #5 | Carry-KL0 | +2.76 | 59 | 77 |





