








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4812 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4778 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4352 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4147 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,535,063 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ L3nLu | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | CHRISP | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | fucHs 🦊 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | skonk | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | döner mit senF | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRISP | 289 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | zenden 」 | 235 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | skonk | 205 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | döner mit senF | 167 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | blake | 144 | 0.19 | 4 min |





