








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 464 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6809 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5544 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5764 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5383 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,558,977 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0KA | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | β‘iNS4NEdUDE | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Babo | 52% | 309 |
| #4 | blake | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0KA | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | β‘iNS4NEdUDE | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Babo | 52% | 309 |
| #4 | blake | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babo | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | blake | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babo | 625 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | blake | 340 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | N0KA | 224 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | β‘iNS4NEdUDE | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucHs π¦ | +0.99 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Babo | +0.87 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | N0KA | +0.79 | 74 | 78 |
| #4 | blake | +0.50 | 85 | 77 |
| #5 | β‘iNS4NEdUDE | +0.14 | 72 | 65 |





