








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 403 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7929 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7561 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5222 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7783 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,466,758 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethical bum sniffer | 63% | 82 |
| #2 | ♿ Santa's Elf ♿ | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | pist|n|broke | 55% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethical bum sniffer | 63% | 82 |
| #2 | ♿ Santa's Elf ♿ | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | pist|n|broke | 55% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Santa's Elf ♿ | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | pist|n|broke | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ethical bum sniffer | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Santa's Elf ♿ | 279 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 202 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | pist|n|broke | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Santa's Elf ♿ | +1.11 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | devo | +0.86 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | ethical bum sniffer | +0.71 | 66 | 76 |
| #4 | pist|n|broke | +0.63 | 73 | 17 |





