








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 8% |
| Smokes | 5676 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 3544 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2006 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,856,592 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlazeOne ]@$|3[ | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | Anubis | 50% | 275 |
| #3 | mark | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | ev0lve | 49% | 255 |
| #5 | Phrost | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ev0lve | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Cipher | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Anubis | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | yellowawesomeness | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | mark | 2 | 0.0022 |





