








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1794 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2229 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2031 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2359 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,972 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yo talent ⭕⃤ | 55% | 150 |
| #2 | Alexcès | 53% | 89 |
| #3 | levor81 | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yo talent ⭕⃤ | 55% | 150 |
| #2 | Alexcès | 53% | 89 |
| #3 | levor81 | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yo talent ⭕⃤ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | levor81 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Alexcès | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yo talent ⭕⃤ | 591 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | levor81 | 207 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Alexcès | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SupaKops | +5.15 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | 3yo talent ⭕⃤ | +0.83 | 62 | 66 |
| #3 | levor81 | -2.37 | 18 | 53 |
| #4 | Alexcès | -4.81 | 20 | 31 |





