










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4364 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3049 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,535,849 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapk | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | Dogifer | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Mongo | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | //4̶0̶4̶ | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | (WTH) Njordin | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dogifer | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Mongo | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | //4̶0̶4̶ | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | (WTH) Njordin | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | Dont Shoot! | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapk | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Dont Shoot! | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | //4̶0̶4̶ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mongo | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Dogifer | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | 113 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | //4̶0̶4̶ | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | kapk | 68 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dogifer | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dont Shoot! | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | +5.08 | 96 | 49 |
| #2 | Just Win Baby | +3.31 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Dogifer | +2.91 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | kapk | +2.63 | 69 | 26 |
| #5 | //4̶0̶4̶ | -0.42 | 62 | 36 |





