










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2495 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2540 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2140 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,361 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Batro | 51% | 89 |
| #2 | Xaiter360 | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Krusty | 48% | 118 |
| #4 | MuncH | 47% | 95 |
| #5 | sr. cortex | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mR. cRuZ ︻デ 一 | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | MuncH | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Krusty | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Batro | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Xaiter360 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krusty | 167 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | mR. cRuZ ︻デ 一 | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Batro | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Xaiter360 | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | MuncH | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |





