








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3163 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2631 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1966 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,451 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KANETT:1 | 57% | 107 |
| #5 | vicKyGerin0 | 55% | 51 |
| #6 | NeroBEA$T | 54% | 28 |
| #7 | faunZ | 53% | 45 |
| #8 | Schabi | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Schabi | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | KANETT:1 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Mayor Spritzwein | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | vicKyGerin0 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | 552 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | KANETT:1 | 403 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mayor Spritzwein | 268 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | vicKyGerin0 | 242 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | faunZ | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBA | +1.20 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | Mayor Spritzwein | +1.13 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | NeroBEA$T | +0.53 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | +0.19 | 60 | 78 |
| #5 | faunZ | -0.23 | 57 | 74 |





