








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1261 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1276 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1308 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,396 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeroBEA$T | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | TBA | 65% | 69 |
| #3 | serg | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | faunZ | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | KANETT:1 | 56% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | vicKyGerin0 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | KANETT:1 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Schabi | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | 470 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | TBA | 353 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | KANETT:1 | 268 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | vicKyGerin0 | 175 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Schabi | 112 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBA | +1.86 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Trabbi | +0.69 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | Schabi | +0.66 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | Mayor Spritzwein | +0.66 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | ALWAYSWANNAFLY | +0.32 | 59 | 79 |





