








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1751 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2409 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1943 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,858 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mat | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Rusty | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Geji | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Kuzco's Poison | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | zyRo | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Geji | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Kuzco's Poison | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | zyRo | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | ⌘ Morvo ⌘ | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | protato | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geji | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | mat | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | protato | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | zyRo | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zyRo | 146 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | Geji | 135 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rusty | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⌘ Morvo ⌘ | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | protato | 75 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuzco's Poison | +4.59 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Rusty | +1.83 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | Geji | +1.56 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | mat | +1.15 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | ⌘ Morvo ⌘ | -0.37 | 75 | 64 |





