








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1173 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2293 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1730 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,919 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P3T3 Machine | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | kayceejr | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Japjapjap | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Mercillern | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | Japjap | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot 007 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Mercillern | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | GeniusCat | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | K3nY4 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | kaycee | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot 007 | 248 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | kaycee | 188 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | P3T3 Machine | 185 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mercillern | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Danny <3 | 161 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuGGi^ | +2.15 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Mercillern | +1.04 | 62 | 66 |
| #3 | Bot 007 | +1.03 | 70 | 73 |
| #4 | Skip | +0.75 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | Lars Krimi | +0.52 | 59 | 81 |





