








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 228 matches | ||
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5194 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4142 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4433 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,194,211 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volvo Police ✪ Michael Scott | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | ojoloco886 | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | [Zeuq@CS2 ~]$ sudo -u | 54% | 215 |
| #4 | ITALIANOUSSS | 53% | 106 |
| #5 | Th€ GuArDiAn ツ | 51% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ITALIANOUSSS | 53% | 106 |
| #5 | Th€ GuArDiAn ツ | 51% | 75 |
| #6 | garciç | 49% | 69 |
| #7 | Y4zur1 | 48% | 93 |
| #8 | Legendario | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Zeuq@CS2 ~]$ sudo -u | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | garciç | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Legendario | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Th€ GuArDiAn ツ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ITALIANOUSSS | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Zeuq@CS2 ~]$ sudo -u | 607 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | ITALIANOUSSS | 361 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Th€ GuArDiAn ツ | 315 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | Y4zur1 | 276 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | garciç | 243 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th€ GuArDiAn ツ | +4.75 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | ojoloco886 | +3.61 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Volvo Police ✪ Michael Scott | +0.81 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | garciç | +0.49 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | [Zeuq@CS2 ~]$ sudo -u | +0.32 | 66 | 73 |





