








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4261 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3919 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3211 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2952 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,949 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yong Cockus | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Po$eRFla$H3000 | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Carry Potter | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | ColtSeavers | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | kr4Zz | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carry Potter | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Schwifty | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Yong Cockus | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | DerBro | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Njord | 3 | 0.0022 |





