








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2081 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3943 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3794 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3968 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,977,703 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DyN4MiiC | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | fuNy# | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | CruX! | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | bambam | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | ✞Shadow✞ | 48% | 87 |





