








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4944 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7308 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5055 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,926,255 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poca | 55% | 258 |
| #2 | Blue - | 55% | 254 |
| #3 | RX Darkick | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | MDONDALDS | 51% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poca | 55% | 258 |
| #2 | Blue - | 55% | 254 |
| #3 | RX Darkick | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | MDONDALDS | 51% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poca | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Blue - | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | MDONDALDS | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | RX Darkick | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue - | 1016 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Poca | 822 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | MDONDALDS | 767 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #4 | RX Darkick | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poca | +0.94 | 65 | 68 |
| #2 | Cheezyfries | +0.67 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | RX Darkick | -0.70 | 46 | 49 |
| #4 | Blue - | -0.82 | 50 | 77 |
| #5 | MDONDALDS | -1.07 | 49 | 84 |





