








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 279 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6517 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5878 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5217 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,003 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeZzrEcK | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | ηicky | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | Canadian J | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | gaaagnon | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | gp | 53% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeZzrEcK | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | ηicky | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | Canadian J | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | gaaagnon | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | gp | 53% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaaagnon | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | gp | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Canadian J | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gp | 1310 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #2 | gaaagnon | 446 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Canadian J | 282 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | ηicky | 229 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | BeZzrEcK | 161 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaaagnon | +3.30 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟ Stoone24 | +1.74 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | gp | +1.05 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | BeZzrEcK | -1.53 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | ηicky | -1.68 | 59 | 62 |





