








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 806 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10800 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12871 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8886 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 12180 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,076,498 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [FA] Smooth Awperator | 52% | 162 |
| #2 | SAND SPIDER | 49% | 133 |
| #3 | Dang | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | BeardedPiro | 46% | 280 |
| #5 | ROSEHORSE | 45% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dang | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | BeardedPiro | 46% | 280 |
| #5 | ROSEHORSE | 45% | 108 |
| #6 | iLLmatiK | 45% | 139 |
| #7 | Brown Shrek | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeardedPiro | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | SAND SPIDER | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | iLLmatiK | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | [FA] Smooth Awperator | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ROSEHORSE | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLLmatiK | 462 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | BeardedPiro | 294 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | ROSEHORSE | 186 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | [FA] Smooth Awperator | 180 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Brown Shrek | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brown Shrek | +2.03 | 54 | 68 |
| #2 | Dang | +1.73 | 60 | 54 |
| #3 | iLLmatiK | +0.72 | 55 | 62 |
| #4 | [FA] Smooth Awperator | +0.38 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | BeardedPiro | -0.58 | 50 | 38 |





