








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 37% |
| Smokes | 246 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 359 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,108 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ^2ArchticStyx | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | KennyASS | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | HD | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | drtyfruit | 30% | 10 |
| #13 | Plorping it | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woah | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | THEEGREATBAMB | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | HD | 1 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Trouper-33 | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woah | 189 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | THEEGREATBAMB | 53 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | KennyASS | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | ^2ArchticStyx | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mika | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woah | +2.79 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | Qorbone | +2.53 | 60 | 36 |
| #3 | Mika | +1.88 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | KennyASS | +1.36 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Rock_Sause | +0.12 | 67 | 63 |





