








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1918 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1101 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,768 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denzel HURRI 07 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Antti Hiisi | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | Biiffi | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | Arska | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | JEREKINDAR | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | og rahikaine | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sarvinen | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Antti Hiisi | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | AndRE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Laako | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarvinen | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Biiffi | 137 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Arska | 134 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | og rahikaine | 114 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | känniS | 101 | 0.21 | 3 min |





