








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 321 matches | ||
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6917 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5742 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4428 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3722 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,937,053 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Realer | 52% | 215 |
| #2 | Swag master | 51% | 256 |
| #3 | Perla | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | KiddiJr | 48% | 257 |
| #5 | I'm sorry but I've | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Swag master | 51% | 256 |
| #3 | Perla | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | KiddiJr | 48% | 257 |
| #5 | I'm sorry but I've | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | The one (1) | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag master | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | KiddiJr | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Realer | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | I'm sorry but I've | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | The one (1) | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiddiJr | 1153 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | Swag master | 761 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Realer | 170 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | I'm sorry but I've | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Perla | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiddiJr | +1.82 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | Swag master | +1.23 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Realer | +0.56 | 69 | 47 |
| #4 | ConHeo | -0.67 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | I'm sorry but I've | -1.67 | 44 | 54 |





