








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Esplay | 43 matches | 1,963 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2998 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2653 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2651 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,810 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basher | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | B4nk1 | 53% | 107 |
| #3 | ☣ bLIRRAN | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | 夜神月 | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | TB | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIMAZING | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | TB | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | 夜神月 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ☣ bLIRRAN | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | basher | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B4nk1 | 393 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | AIMAZING | 237 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | TB | 186 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ☣ bLIRRAN | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | 夜神月 | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #FeraligatR #160 | +2.54 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | 夜神月 | +2.36 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | ☣ bLIRRAN | +1.15 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Lemner | +0.75 | 64 | 75 |
| #5 | TB | -0.47 | 71 | 59 |





