








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 162 | 26% |
| Smokes | 314 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 96 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,232 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ank | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | xDiedrich | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | ratzass | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Dirty Harry | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | TimTimTheDino | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ratzass | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Dirty Harry | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | TimTimTheDino | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Solo Plez | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | trisaratops | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Harry | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ratzass | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | xDiedrich | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Solo Plez | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratzass | 55 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | xDiedrich | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Solo Plez | 17 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dirty Harry | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ank | 4 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratzass | +3.77 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | xDiedrich | +3.65 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | Dirty Harry | -1.84 | 25 | 40 |
| #4 | Solo Plez | -2.06 | 7 | 41 |
| #5 | fiend | -2.96 | 35 | 45 |





