








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2743 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2065 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,926 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nhoJ | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | ..Dot | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | Taco Taco Enchilada | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | Thrombosis Johnson (he/him) | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | sιzz | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f4te | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Thrombosis Johnson (he/him) | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | VOODOO =DD! | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Ajoyfulpig | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | sιzz | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ..Dot | 308 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Thrombosis Johnson (he/him) | 287 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | drg | 278 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | VOODOO =DD! | 272 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | Taco Taco Enchilada | 220 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avner | +2.20 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Ajoyfulpig | +1.70 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | ..Dot | +0.87 | 82 | 77 |
| #4 | VOODOO =DD! | +0.86 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | wonder | +0.83 | 85 | 66 |





