








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2877 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2721 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1510 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,411 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karate Andi | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | LegendeNN | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | sekoyadanyo | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Fre3zN | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | zenden 」 | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zenden 」 | 57% | 69 |
| #6 | Füchse sind keine Rudeltiere | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | bara | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | RAGERRR | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | bigdNs | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zenden 」 | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | sekoyadanyo | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Füchse sind keine Rudeltiere | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zenden 」 | 448 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #2 | bara | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Karate Andi | 63 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | bigdNs | 61 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | sekoyadanyo | 49 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tMAE | +2.53 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | LegendeNN | +1.50 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | Füchse sind keine Rudeltiere | +0.98 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | sekoyadanyo | +0.87 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Karate Andi | -0.13 | 92 | 60 |





