








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 900 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1158 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1373 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,599 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Enigma | 54% | 39 |
| #9 | [AIM]BOTMcM #GrandmaSpeed | 53% | 30 |
| #10 | ✪FNL⭕⃤.✞ | 53% | 47 |
| #11 | Maxim | 52% | 42 |
| #12 | Drylith | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E T Y | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Drylith | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxim | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Enigma | 138 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪FNL⭕⃤.✞ | 121 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♛Sybolic√ | 109 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | [AIM]BOTMcM #GrandmaSpeed | 104 | 0.17 | 2 min |





