








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1298 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,501 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garo_BIH | 45% | 51 |
| #2 | Komandos | 42% | 59 |
| #3 | KUJA | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | cRoKyBEAST | 41% | 76 |
| #5 | PrawLeR | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komandos | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | KUJA | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Garo_BIH | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | cRoKyBEAST | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | PrawLeR | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cRoKyBEAST | 212 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | PrawLeR | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Komandos | 175 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | KUJA | 136 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Garo_BIH | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |





