








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2500 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2275 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2743 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,272 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuSheK | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | ŽiVEX | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | KAMuFLAZNiBINOx | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Raa | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Blazy | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | CherniSan | 44% | 39 |
| #14 | bittewarten | 38% | 26 |
| #15 | Mr7 | 38% | 21 |
| #16 | Hanzii | 37% | 19 |
| #17 | lord rektus | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CherniSan | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | KAMuFLAZNiBINOx | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | lord rektus | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | JKuplungaS | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | † 𝖓𝖔𝖔𝖇 † P.a.M | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKuplungaS | 251 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | † 𝖓𝖔𝖔𝖇 † P.a.M | 195 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lottospieler | 109 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jin-Roh | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | CherniSan | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazy | +5.44 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | KAMuFLAZNiBINOx | +3.19 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | TitanG | +1.79 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | † 𝖓𝖔𝖔𝖇 † P.a.M | +1.36 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | Mr7 | +1.14 | 60 | 53 |





