








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 1 map

Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 227 | 32% |
| Smokes | 209 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 156 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 111 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,575 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regsa89 | 32% | 19 |
| #2 | PlehnGonzo | 31% | 16 |
| #3 | Henning-Håndgranat | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | Naver Smølf | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regsa89 | 32% | 19 |
| #2 | PlehnGonzo | 31% | 16 |
| #3 | Henning-Håndgranat | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | Naver Smølf | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henning-Håndgranat | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | PlehnGonzo | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Naver Smølf | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Regsa89 | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naver Smølf | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Regsa89 | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Henning-Håndgranat | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | PlehnGonzo | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henning-Håndgranat | +2.82 | 70 | 57 |
| #2 | PlehnGonzo | +2.19 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | Naver Smølf | -0.04 | 28 | 61 |
| #4 | Regsa89 | -3.06 | 23 | 85 |
| #5 | Edward Snowden | -3.07 | 12 | 69 |





