








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10842 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6822 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7709 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6056 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,768 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snort rack get wack | 49% | 41 |
| #2 | ftsrellik | 49% | 78 |
| #3 | serj1n | 47% | 180 |
| #4 | duke | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | Phat Ranga | 44% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | duke | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | Phat Ranga | 44% | 311 |
| #6 | lolsifer | 42% | 108 |
| #7 | Panda | 41% | 41 |
| #8 | GRANITEMAUL | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phat Ranga | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | serj1n | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | duke | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | GRANITEMAUL | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ftsrellik | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phat Ranga | 1036 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | serj1n | 496 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | ftsrellik | 290 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | lolsifer | 216 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | GRANITEMAUL | 207 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snort rack get wack | +2.43 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | ftsrellik | +1.89 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | duke | +0.86 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Phat Ranga | +0.52 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | lolsifer | +0.45 | 67 | 63 |





