








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3519 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3922 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3381 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2356 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,936 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amazing_Venox | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | König يala₫Ғiпgәгs°C# | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | -bartz | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | BANANANEX | 52% | 130 |
| #5 | J0d | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J0d | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Mornin_Glori [J]🤍 | 48% | 100 |
| #7 | ✂ + Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ = | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | burza | 39% | 57 |
| #9 | ☛Dr. RJ☚ | 36% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANANANEX | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ☛Dr. RJ☚ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | König يala₫Ғiпgәгs°C# | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Mornin_Glori [J]🤍 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | burza | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANANANEX | 432 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | ☛Dr. RJ☚ | 191 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✂ + Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ = | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | König يala₫Ғiпgәгs°C# | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | J0d | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | König يala₫Ғiпgәгs°C# | +3.63 | 66 | 84 |
| #2 | -bartz | +2.93 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | J0d | +1.58 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | BANANANEX | +1.08 | 68 | 79 |
| #5 | ☛Dr. RJ☚ | +0.08 | 64 | 65 |





