








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,834 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2420 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1954 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2092 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,854 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lmp | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | mQller | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Mollymus | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Pixel | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lmp | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | mQller | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Mollymus | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Pixel | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mollymus | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | mQller | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Pixel | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mQller | 159 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mollymus | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lmp | 88 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pixel | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mQller | +1.70 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | frogman | +0.35 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Pixel | -0.34 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | Mollymus | -1.07 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Lmp | -1.35 | 56 | 68 |





