








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 626 | 24% |
| Smokes | 675 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 566 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,417 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Døllefar | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | RudeDane | 38% | 34 |
| #3 | Mariemus | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | :i | 13% | 8 |
| #5 | bQhlke | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Døllefar | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | RudeDane | 38% | 34 |
| #3 | Mariemus | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | :i | 13% | 8 |
| #5 | bQhlke | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Døllefar | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Mariemus | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | :i | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Døllefar | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | RudeDane | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | bQhlke | 43 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | :i | 18 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mariemus | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coax -> .!. -.- .!. | +0.01 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | bQhlke | -0.23 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | RudeDane | -0.46 | 43 | 72 |
| #4 | Døllefar | -0.50 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | :i | -0.51 | 54 | 55 |





