








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3126 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2262 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1940 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1899 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,492 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LomiFork | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | oterlad | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Killer Fragger Snagger | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | OG Jesus | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Tayx | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshy | 161 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | oterlad | 157 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ lEo | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | OG Jesus | 114 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Killer Fragger Snagger | 71 | 0.15 | 2 min |





