








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 987 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,759 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3967 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3795 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2849 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2354 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,122 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | PunkyD | 46% | 56 |
| #14 | vallzy | 45% | 29 |
| #15 | Sarvinen | 43% | 35 |
| #16 | KurwaTillikka187 | 40% | 20 |
| #17 | og rahikaine | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndRE | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Biiffi | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | SquareN | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | PunkyD | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Laako | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PunkyD | 311 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | SquareN | 236 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Arska | 203 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Biiffi | 200 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | AndRE | 155 | 0.09 | 5 min |





