








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2496 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2993 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2906 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2507 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,506,681 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakedaN | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Lvl 6 faceit but 3k elo | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Berg | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | Prophet | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | QuitBark | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bK | 58% | 26 |
| #7 | platz | 55% | 31 |
| #8 | TheHelplessCow | 55% | 55 |
| #9 | Zentay | 51% | 45 |
| #10 | Frazel | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platz | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | QuitBark | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | TheHelplessCow | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Zentay | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zentay | 235 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | TheHelplessCow | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Frazel | 100 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Berg | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Prophet | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakedaN | +2.07 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Prophet | +1.95 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | Wolfie | +1.20 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Frazel | +0.94 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | platz | +0.43 | 89 | 62 |





