








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 144 | 19% |
| Smokes | 172 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,703 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DrJenner | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | Mr.Turtle | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Chip | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | syscore | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | DrJenner | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ainigma | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ainigma | 161 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | DrJenner | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chip | 54 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | syscore | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rpwnzl ツ | +2.88 | 65 | 56 |
| #2 | DrJenner | +2.39 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Mr.Turtle | +2.22 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | ainigma | +0.90 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | Kesmann | -0.73 | 48 | 60 |





